Counseling for Grief
Grief at its core is deep sorrow for a loss we have experienced. I have felt the heartbreak of loss, but I also know that it looks and feels different for each person. Loss in any form, family, friend, a loved one, can create a grief that is layered and difficult to navigate.
Common Forms of Grief
Traumatic Grief
Traumatic grief is the type of loss that knocks the wind out of our very existence. Its suddenness and/or unexpected nature leaves us feeling like our world has been shattered and is now unrecognizable. When this happens, it is hard to know what the next step may be. People may try to tell you how to grieve or what you ‘should’ do. In reality, you need to start where you are at, and that’s where I can meet you.
Children and Grief
When a child, teen, or tween looses a parent, sibling or friend suddenly, It can feel frightening and unexpected. In fact, it can have a devastating impact. You may notice a change in your child’s play and behavior. Although their behavior may not seem like a response to grief, or they may not be able to identify what they’re experiencing. They may be experiencing confusion because change can be difficult for children to process. What they do know is that their role in the family has now changed.
Death of a Child
Whether we see it coming or not, no parent is ever prepared to feel the anguish of losing their own child. I recognize that child loss at any age - whether the child never took his/her first breath, lived a long life into adulthood, or died at any age in between, can make the pain can feel unbearable. This type of traumatic grief also devastates every member of the family. I am very aware that this loss pierces the heart of siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, and extended family and friends. However your role is different, because the child is your own, I am here to walk with you on your grief journey so you can begin to process and recover.
Common Responses to Grief:
Intrusive thoughts and memories about the death
Avoiding reminders of the death or of the person who died
Intense sadness, irritability and anger
Self-blame and regret
Numbing
Distressing dreams
Forgetfulness and feeling like you’re dazed
Changes in sleep and eating patterns
Physical or emotional symptoms of increased arousal
Triggered by specific dates, holidays and anniversary
Feeling helpless or hopeless
Guilt about being alive
Feel nervous, jumpy
Trouble sleeping
Poor concentration
Other Responses Children Experience:
Regrets and guilt about previous “bad” behavior.
Child may not show signs they are upset
Your child’s behavior may regress
They may complain about aches and pains
May sleep more than usual
You may notice they cry more than usual
Ambiguous Loss and Disenfranchised Grief
Loss comes in many forms. Two types of loss that are hard for others to recognize, include ambiguous loss and disenfranchised loss. With ambiguous loss, in your own heart, you know there is pain, even when others can’t see it. This type of loss takes on many forms, but it ultimately creates grief and loss as we mourn the absence of the hopes we carried in our hearts. The emotion behind this is that it may never come to pass. An example might include the loss of a parent due to divorce, addiction, incarceration, or threat of separation.
On the other hand, when there is ambiguity or others simply do not recognize the loss as valid, the grief becomes disenfranchised. There’s no timeline for your grief and it’s not a race to see who can “get over it” first. There’s no ribbon or trophy for “grieved the best” or “I grieved the right way”. You don’t have to “be over it by now.” When people say these things, not only is your heartache not acknowledged, but there may be no systems of support, no traditions or rituals to follow, or no societal norms to guide the next steps.
Grief Counseling can help you bear the unbearable
My clients who have experienced an unimaginable loss of a loved one often don’t know where to begin. You may want to go back to normal, but know that is impossible because your beloved has died. My clients often just want relief, and they don’t want people to tell them how the process of grieving should look. Plus, it doesn’t feel good or supportive to have friends and family tell you to just move on. When working with my clients and their children, know that your child deserves “good support to bear the unbearable.” Grief is it’s own path and with the right support you can learn to carry the love and grief.
Tahirih Herrera, LCSW Approach to Counseling for Grief
Feeling the invalidation and lack of support from grief can feel incredibly confusing and isolating, but you don’t have to go through this alone. I understand the complexities of this type of grief and won’t be dismissive as I listen compassionately to your story of unimaginable loss and grief and help you navigate this altered life. Tools I use are mindfulness practices to connect with your grief and to maintain a relationship with your loved one who died, With compassion, awareness, permission and support for you, or your child, tween, or teen, you will be able to endure and integrate your grief.
Grief counseling can help you navigate grief, create rituals, and find meaning.
Begin Counseling for Grief in Phoenix, AZ
I help kids and teens and their families who have suffered an untimely or traumatic death of person you have loved. Counseling can help you find a way to grieve, honor your loved ones, and move forward. My online Phoenix, Arizona counseling practice offers several types of highly effective therapeutic modalities for grief counseling in Arizona for recover and healing. You will meet with me, Tahirih Herrera, your grief therapist, who specializes in grief counseling. Perhaps, your family may need a place to process. Or your child, tween, and teen may not completely understand what is going on. In counseling, you will be given the tools you need to process difficult times, but you will also have full support and learn coping mechanisms to help yourself and your family. To begin your grief counseling follow these simple steps:
Meet with Tahirih, a skilled, grief therapist
Let’s connect. You don’t have to struggle with this alone.
Other Counseling and Mental Health Services specialties Tahirih Herrera, LCSW provides:
Counseling for grief isn’t the only service I offer in my online Phoenix, AZ practice. Other areas of focus and mental health services Tahirih Herrera, LCSW Counseling provides include: therapy for children, anxiety treatment, pre-teen therapy, EMDR, trauma, and therapy for teens. All these services are available via online therapy in Arizona. I am excited to work with you, get in touch today to begin your counseling journey.
