How to Stock Your Mental Health Toolbox for Your Family
During the past year, maintaining my emotional well-being and supporting my family’s mental health has been of vital importance. Life is changing and transitions are always around the corner.
Having a well-stocked mental health toolbox for your family is more important than ever. Families are facing ever-increasing pressures. You juggle work demands, children’s schedules, academics, and extracurricular activities and now, there’s COVID. Life looks different. Many of our normal commitments are online and socializing in public is sparse. Families are stuck under the same roof and it’s causing tension. Not only does having a wellness toolbox help you get through hard times, but it can strengthen your family’s resilience and increase joyfulness.
Maybe you've already created a wellness toolbox, but it feels like it needs an upgrade, or the thought of one more to-do feels like too much. I get it. You love your family but you feel stressed and to add one more, “have to" is overwhelming, and you have a hard time imagining how to add one more thing to your schedule. I can validate that and what I recommend is to start adding one small thing to your toolbox at a time. Overtime your stress will decrease and you will feel better but most importantly, your family will start to feel closer and more connected. That’s what we all want, right?
Maybe you’re thinking, I’ve done this and it didn’t go well or my family won’t be open and I don’t want to be disappointed again. That’s valid and I’d encourage you to try it again and keep trying. Change takes time. It’s like putting pennies in a piggy bank, it adds up over time. Don’t forget to trust the process.
DBT Mindfulness Practices for Adults
Let’s be honest, life is busy! You plan meaningful activities to connect as a family but you find yourself distracted and getting lost in your head. Your mind is a thousand places, your to-do list, or that work email you forgot to send but you are missing out on what’s happening before you.
Mindfulness is a great tool to help you connect with your child in a joyful way. The purpose of practicing mindfulness is all about being present in the moment and not letting your thoughts control you. Here are some simple ways to practice: taking a slow deep breath and a longer exhalation, sitting down for 10 minutes, or going on a peaceful walk. The goal is to be aware of your surroundings. Notice what you may not have before when you were cleaning, grocery shopping, or checking on work emails. Look at the environment you’re in. What are the colors, smells, and sounds? Turn off your technology and be present with your environment. Take inventory of how your feeling and physical sensations and recall this space when you feel stress.
Practicing mindfulness is an effective coping mechanism that can help to maintain sanity during busy mornings and crazy evenings with your loved ones. Plus as parents, we lead by example. If we make mindfulness a priority, then our family will see us caring for ourselves and repeat. If you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, mindfulness is the magic ingredient that helps you take a step back from intense feelings. This will help you manage emotions and give yourself and your loved ones the gift of presence.
Add PACE to your Wellness Toolbox for Children
Many of my clients are children. I find PACE from Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy an effective approach to strengthen the parent and child relationship and improve communication. PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. It helps parents understand their child, open the lines of communication. It helps parents be present and give their children the gift of presence. Here is how you can use PACE to help your children, teens, and adolescents.
Here is the Basic Overview of PACE
The first letter stands for having a playful stance which adds elements of fun to life. This can easily diffuse a tense situation with a child when a parent wants to communicate or discipline. Playfulness can help keep things in perspective and provide a lighter atmosphere to a stressful situation. Next, we have acceptance. This is about communicating to your child that you accept them and do not judge them. In order for acceptance to work, curiosity needs to be present. Curiosity is about having a genuine interest in understanding the why behind behavior without judgment. If you’re able to present yourself with curiosity to a child, this helps to prevent anger or frustration. Lastly, being able to display empathy means as an adult you’re actively showing the child that his/her experience matters and you want to walk through their distress hand in hand.
Here are some responses that follow PACE
“Thanks for telling me that. I’m glad I know what’s on your mind
“Thanks for your honesty, that takes courage.”
“I can tell that was important for you to express Thanks for telling me”
“I could see how you could feel that way”
“That must be hard”
“I would be sad too if that happened to me”
“I didn’t know you felt that way before”
“I get it”
Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Your families Wellness Toolbox
Here are my picks for having a well-stocked toolbox. The most important tools for your family are activities that create a connection- to feel seen, heard, and cared for. This is the magic. So here are some ideas to create for your family’s mental health toolbox:
Happy family playing a game together. Try adding this to your families wellness toolbox in Phoenix, AZ. Spending time together matters. Why not start online therapy as an added mental health boost? Start managing your healthy coping mechanisms today!
Mental Health
Have a family game night
Reduce use of technology such as phones, email and social media
Read a book series together as family that is age-appropriate and everyone can enjoy
Singing songs together
Use mindfulness practices and breathing techniques
Encourage self-care days
Physical Health
Taking daily walks together, go on hikes, playing ball at the park,
Have a family dance party and dance the days stress away! Try freeze dance
Practice yoga
Avoiding caffeine, and sugar especially after 3 pm
Make sure your family is on a consistent sleep schedule
Play a game of tag, hide-and-seek, red light, green light, Simon says
Make sure you’re eating healthy and nutritious meals
Emotional and Social
Offer space to talk about feelings and tension
Schedule and enjoy family meals
Parents, co-regulation is huge! Your calm presence and touch can go a long way. For example, putting your hand on your child’s shoulder and looking into their eyes like you did when they were a baby.
Find a supportive community to reach out to. We are social beings.
Try online therapy in Phoenix, AZ as an added bonus tool
Connect with friends and family via zoom weekly
Additionally, I am a huge advocate for the nurtured heart approach during meals. The method includes each person acknowledging an accomplishment of themselves and one other person. For example, “I’m proud I took out the trash today even though I didn’t want to.” And then find praise for the person to your right, ex: I saw you set the table today and that was helpful” Lastly, I encourage you to practice self-compassion! There are different ways to practice this. A common one many people can address is eliminating the “shoulds'' and shaming. Instead, show some empathy for yourself and others. Try this exercise by Kristin Neff Ph.D., “I’m struggling right now, I’m not alone, others struggle with this as well; and “may I be kind to myself.”
If you want to read more and I wholeheartedly encourage you to check out Kristen Neff, Tara Brach, or Brene Brown.
Begin Therapy in Phoenix, AZ
Being healthy and well matters. This is a difficult time, but stocking your family's wellness toolbox will help your loved ones overcome any barriers they are facing. If you are looking to add more healthy coping mechanisms to the toolbox, consider beginning online therapy for you or your children. My Phoenix, Arizona counseling practice offers a variety of services here to help your family. You will work with a skilled therapist in Phoenix, AZ, Tahirih Herrera, who will help you overcome many barriers. To begin counseling follow these simple steps:
Meet with Tahirih, a skilled, and caring therapist
If you want your family to continue thriving, I'd love to help!
Other Counseling and Mental Health Services specialties:
At my online Arizona therapist, I am able to help children & families thrive from anywhere in the state of Arizona. While I can help with a wide range of concerns your family may have, my specialties include therapy for children, anxiety treatment, pre-teen therapy, EMDR therapy, trauma, grief and loss counseling, and therapy for teens. All these services are available via online therapy in Arizona. Therefore, you can begin counseling online from Tucson, Mesa, Chandler, Scottsdale, or anywhere in the state. Confidence, happiness, and joy are not out of you or your child's reach. I look forward to working with you as you stock your families wellness toolbox!